Poor NYC

For too long, New Yorkers have been deprived of the wonders of Wal-Mart. It was announced this week that they will continue to be deprived as plans to build New York City's 1st Wal-Mart were cancelled.

For Phannie

Tiffany, if you ever read this anymore, you will be as excited as I was to learn that Puss in Boots is going to have a spinoff film!

I'd like to people that actually speak this way

While looking for clips from the movie Tommy Boy to use in a Power Point presentation, I came across this dreadfully cheesy story entitled "Why Am I different?" (keep in mind, the kid is like 8 yrs. old)

After school one day, Jeff didn't want to watch TV. Didn't want to play Nintendo. Didn't eat the cookie Mom gave him. He just sat, looking down into his lap.

"What's the matter, Jeff?" Mom asked.

"Nothing" said Jeff.

"Doesn't look like nothing," said Mom. "Did something happen at school?"

"Mm," said Jeff.

"Did someone pick on you? You can tell me."

"Richard and Aaron said I've got a funny one," said Jeff.

"A funny one?" said Mom, giving him a hug. "A funny what?"

"We were having a wizz together, and they said my dick's funny, like an elephant's trunk." A tear formed in the corner of his eye.

"And theirs are round and red at the end?"

"Yeah. Richard said, 'What's the matter, aren't you circus-sized?' And Aaron said elephants should be in a circus!"

"Oh dear," said Mom. "They don't know anything. Now sit down and drink your milk and I'll tell you about it."

And this is Mom's story:

"When you were born, the doctor said, 'Do you want him circumcised?'" And we didn't know what it meant, so we found out as much as we could about it. 'Circumcised' means they cut the skin off the end of your penis and make that round thing inside show all the time. It's called the 'glans' or just the 'head'. People have been circumcising for a long time. Aaron's people have been doing it for thousands of years. They say God told them to. About a hundred and fifty years ago people started doing it in America because they thought penises were dirty. And some scientists thought having that skin - they call it the 'foreskin' - meant you might get all kinds of sicknesses. That's probably why they did it to Richard. But then other scientists found that was wrong. So now lots of people are fighting about it, but we decided, since it's your foreskin, it wasn't any of our business to go cutting it off you."

"Doesn't that hurt, cutting it off?" asked Jeff, his eyes wide.

"Yes, we asked about that too. They used to say it doesn't hurt, but now they know it does. It hurts a lot, and they have to give the babies injections with a needle first. That hurts them too, of course."

Just then Dad came home from work, and Mom told him: "Jeff's just found out he wasn't circumcised."

"Lucky Jeff!" said Dad, which surprised Jeff. "I was circumcised, and the more I hear about it, the more I wish I wasn't."

"Did it hurt?" said Jeff.

"I don't remember. Doesn't hurt now, in fact some people say you can feel more if you're not circumcised, and that would be good."

"What'll I say to Richard and Aaron?" asked Jeff.

"Don't say anything," said Mom. "It's not nice to hurt their feelings - the way they hurt yours. If they call you an elephant again, just say 'So give me a peanut.' "

"Give my penis a peanut!" said Jeff. (That's so wrong on so many levels)

"That's my boy!" said Dad (who knew that was what Jeff most wanted to hear just then). "And remember, if you're different, they're different too. And they're different from Leonardo di Caprio. He wasn't circumcised." (because they spend so much free time researching celebrity genitals?)

"Leonardo? Wow! Anyone else?" asked Jeff.

"Lots of famous men weren't," said Dad. "Luke Perry, Oscar De La Hoya, Elvis. Most boys and men born outside the US have penises like yours, Jeff: Ewan McGregor - you know, Obi Wan Kenobi in The Phantom Menace - David Bowie, Sting, Prince William."

"Gee, thanks Mom and Dad," said Jeff. "I'm sure glad you didn't have me 'circus-sized.'"

--In a couple of years, he'll probably wished that he was cicus sized.

Big Five Word Test Results

Extroversion (84%) very high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity. Friendliness (54%) medium which suggests you are moderately kind natured, trusting, and helpful while still maintaining your own interests. Orderliness (60%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, neat, structured and restrained at the expense too often of flexibility, variety, spontaneity, and fun. Emotional Stability (72%) high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic. Openmindedness (54%) medium which suggests you are moderately intellectual, curious, and imaginative.

Take Free Big Five Word Choice Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

I'm comfortable enough with myself to admit this

Your Brain is 53.33% Female, 46.67% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Never Fear, Super AIDS is here!

Just when you thought the human race couldn't possibly be stricken with another seemingnly incurable disease, along comes our good friend SUPER AIDS!!! As if AIDS wasn't deadly enough, super AIDS could be used as a biological weapon. Click here to donate and learn about HIV/AIDS

How Alex really feels about his uncle Andrew. 

At least I'm true to myself

Andrew--The Avarage Crazy Band Kid
Your an ok band student. You have an average amount
of friends in the band. Your a little on the
weird side, but people like that about you.
Though your an officer, you don't like to
alienate yourself.


Which Celina Band Member Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Popularity

The longer I am in band, the more I am convinced that it truely is the stereotypical social suicide that is portrayed by mass media (with the exception of a select few). Talking to Mrs. Hanke at the band party make me realize this fully.
I remember a time when I was the class favorite, played football, was on student council, went to most every party, and won virtually every election I ran in. Now, since learning I have narrowing of the spine, I no longer play football, am not class favorite, nor am I a member of the student council. However, I am in the band, and most of the parties I attend are either band related or with other members of the band. Even though there was overwhelming support for me to try out for the drill team (queue sarcastic look) , I don't thin keven that could help. I even see the drill team as socially closer to the band and the cheerleaders as socially closer to the football team. Sorry to the drill team because they were stuck with the band as their metaphorical lab partner is this experiment of life. Maybe this is why the drill team is no longer allowing band members (or anyone else, for that matter) to visit them in the stands at football games. It seems they are trying to rid themselves of our curse.
Speaking of curse, who wants to see Cursed when it comes out? And Constantine!
And remember, kids, everyone who graduates from the college of Cardinals gets to be Pope!!

TAKS and the City

I am just about sick of TAKS and of being studious. Whenever your smart it seems that people either want to constantly point out your errors to show you that you are not very intelligent at all, or they wish to criticize and say that you do not have the intelligence that you should. Just because your in the top 5 of the class does not mean you are infallible. People come up to me and act as if they are dissapointed because I did not do better on my benchmark TAKS exam. Two of which, I might point out, I took in one day because I missed a week of school and that day was the deadline. When the actual TAKS comes around, I intend to take my sweet ass time!

Gutterball

This years band officers organized a bowling party held last night. It was much more fun than I expected and I hope everyone else can say the same. I would like to apologize to Mrs. Hanke at this point for being so earthshatteringly loud. We also gave away a $50 gift card from Best Buy to the highest bowling (The highest scoring bowler, not the bowler who was most high at the time of bowling). Well, if you ever doubted that Becky was good at everything, here is proof, as she was the winner of the gift card. Oddly enough, both Brian and Becky (at separate times, completely independent of each other) suggested a Wal-Mart gift card be given. Each were very excited to hear that they think alike.
I played one game and retired to the arcade after my pathetic total score of 74. I am much better at air hockey than at bowling. For the first time ever, I won a game of Cruisin' World and got a free game. I believe Cruisin' World is the best video game ever because when you hit the kangaroos in Australia, they explode into little bloody pieces and you can never really get off the track.
After the party I stayed at Parris's house a good long while and we watched Mulan 2! Maybe I had better get off the computer because everything is starting to wobble and my eyes are burning a little bit. See everyone on Monday (if I can still see by then)

Interesting

Here is an interesting way to describe us. Americans

Fun Places

Someone commented recently on my blog, so I checked out his blog. Two of them are in English, the other in God knows what, but the English ones are pretty good. Check them out
www.manojar.blogspot.com
http://kmanoj.bizhat.com/manotech

Holy Crap!

They said it couldn't be done! But I've done it! I have surpassed the 2000 visitor mark--oh yes, oh yes!!!!!!!! I know its kinda inconsequential compared to other blogs that get more hits than that each day, but it makes me feel very worldly.

Grammy

Since Parris is slacking and not posting about the most important musical event all year, I will make the grammy post. To read a professional review click there. I can only say that beside the fact that human cloning is now legal in Britain, the grammies where pretty boring. With Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony's duet being the musical equivalent of valium with a tequila chaser. Queen Latifa was a great host. The teacher who went to jail for having sex with her 12 year old student is out of jail and is going to marry the kid. Unfortunately, I missed the best song of the year award, and, while I could hunt down a results list online, I am lazy at this minute while posting about the grammies and bits of news I'm hearing on the Tonight Show along with Ross the intern (for any regular Tonight Show watchers out there who know what I'm talking about). So, if someone wants to post a results list--THIS IS YOUR WRITTEN INVITATION (as Mr. MacMillan would say)

Fuck Valentine's Day

This is the single worst holiday all year. I think bank day in Scotland is less bitter. Just so ya'll know, I'm not talking to Celina people. At Lamar High School, today, a kid came into school swinging a sword and injured a student before being detained and arrested. What makes that even scarier is that I've been to Lamar and North Lamar before. More people commit suicide on Valentine's Day than on any other holiday. Everywhere I went today was decked in red hearts and roses. It made me sick. I'm actually looking forward to school tomorrow so I can be distracted from how "bad" a person I am. (and the picture of dorian grey). I'm sorry I didn't get any gifts this year, but I figured nobody really missed them and/or they didn't want a gift from someone with whom they were not involved.

Little Earthquakes

Any Tori Amos fans out there? No? Didn't think so. So, everyone is back in Celina, I gather. This is muy excellente because now everyone can take my quiz! It is missing a few pictures, but the result will still be shown. I expect you to post results (html is included)! If your result doesn't have a pic, try again later.

Catharsis

Sorry I've been lazy about posting. Now, down to business. Hurray State People! We've started The Picture of Dorian Grey(Gray?) in English. Valentines day is just around the corner and Celina has no school that day. It's this time of year that makes me feel unloved :-) Mr. Gilmore is our temp. band director since MM Weatherford & Co. are away with the state kids in San Marcos. I have to learn the flute for jazz band and it is the crappiest instrument in the woodwind family. I can't even make a noise. I'll be sure to post a pic of me and the flute.

For Cassie and Cain

But, everyone should check it out. And remember, all of these are true colloquialisms.

Wicked Good Guide to Boston English

Hot Fuss

I don't ever recall having a favorite band before. Now, I'm obsessed with the Killers. This is to the point of hero worship almost. Like whenever we had to write a paper about our heros, I've never had anyone that I have looked up to enough to write about, but now I would seriously consider writing about this band.

HAHAHAH MUY LOCO!!

you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse


which happy bunny are you?
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Who knew?...again!

I never really thought of myself in this way--maybe more of an Athena or Morpheus


Aphrodite/Eros


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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World Traveler

Check the bottom of my sidebar to see a little map displaying the places different visitor hail from, it is muy cool.

Brigt Spot

Have you ever needed something unexpected to happen to brighten your day? Well, have been feeling very confused lately, and it took such an event to pull me through the chaos.

Today, during the super bowl (which I beleive is a symbol of all that is wrong with America and would never willingly subject myself to), I received a call from Lori. For some reason, I've always been the type that really enjoyed having friends who were older than me. It always made me feel secure for some reason.

Lori is a very refreshing person to talk to, and I often find myself feeling foolish in the face of her...childlike wisdom. I also think that it is very spiffy of her to keep in touch with these lowly high schoolers. She has been a vital factor in shaping who I am today, and I admire her.

Boogey Boogey

I saw Boogeyman last night with Jenny and CelinaShowGirl. It was pretty scary until the ending, which was crap. My parents saw Closer and spent like all night talking about the disgusting sexual content. In addition to seeing a movie, we also discovered that my voice maked...interesting things vibriate.

My favorite pic of Parris is making its second run on the Great Nothing. 

Trust

This is the final in a line of discarded posts I almost made tonight. I was going to make several posts about many personal subjects, but I decided against it. I don't know how I could handle people knowing too much about me. I can't sleep. I feel like, more than ever, the band is the only thing I have anymore. I used to be the class favorite of the sophomore class. I enjoyed the popularity--as selfish as it sounds, i really enjoyed at least feeling accepted. It seems that all logic has been thrown aside in high school. By the way, I really hate Alan Jones. I can't really understand why most of the time because he is so congenial. He is an example of what I will begin calling the Scott syndrome. Scott syndrome is a disease where everyone thinks your a wonderful person who can do no wrong when, in reality, you are undeserving of much of the respect you recieve. Alan is too old to be a sophomore, he is a lazy, unmotivated fool who is unnecessarily idolized. Example: Mrs. House loved Scott and always talked about how he was such a great student.

I used to have a reputation that preceded me with teachers. I always felt like I had good relationships with them. Now it seems that teachers think of me as overly argumentative and a hassle, which I really am not.

I was always intimidated by Mr. R, but now I can't read him. One reason I became an officer is to prove to myself that I could get along with him. I don't know if he thinks I'm a petulant child or a good person. We seem too different to get along.

I always seem to feel down when I'm alone. The best time of my day is seeing people in band. And a few select others outside.


I apologize if nothing in this post was coherent. I'm not sure what I was typing followed a logical order.

GGRRRRRR!!

I can't find any blank CD's to put my BCIS presentation on. Luckily, I just was able to locate the floppy disk that I have been using for my schoolwork for 7 years. Lets hope it has one more run left in it.

Of Flutes, Saxophones, and the State of the Union

So, right now, I am watching the president's speech being torn apart by democrats while procrastinating work on my BCIS and English projects. I can't say anything about Bush's address. The only controversial thing he spoke of was the future of social security.

Of Sax's: Cheth now plays the alto sax

Of Flutes: I have to learn how to play the flute for a song in the jazz band. And Becky get's to be my teacher!

Of BCIS: It sucks.