Trust

This is the final in a line of discarded posts I almost made tonight. I was going to make several posts about many personal subjects, but I decided against it. I don't know how I could handle people knowing too much about me. I can't sleep. I feel like, more than ever, the band is the only thing I have anymore. I used to be the class favorite of the sophomore class. I enjoyed the popularity--as selfish as it sounds, i really enjoyed at least feeling accepted. It seems that all logic has been thrown aside in high school. By the way, I really hate Alan Jones. I can't really understand why most of the time because he is so congenial. He is an example of what I will begin calling the Scott syndrome. Scott syndrome is a disease where everyone thinks your a wonderful person who can do no wrong when, in reality, you are undeserving of much of the respect you recieve. Alan is too old to be a sophomore, he is a lazy, unmotivated fool who is unnecessarily idolized. Example: Mrs. House loved Scott and always talked about how he was such a great student.

I used to have a reputation that preceded me with teachers. I always felt like I had good relationships with them. Now it seems that teachers think of me as overly argumentative and a hassle, which I really am not.

I was always intimidated by Mr. R, but now I can't read him. One reason I became an officer is to prove to myself that I could get along with him. I don't know if he thinks I'm a petulant child or a good person. We seem too different to get along.

I always seem to feel down when I'm alone. The best time of my day is seeing people in band. And a few select others outside.


I apologize if nothing in this post was coherent. I'm not sure what I was typing followed a logical order.