What would be a good euphemism for 'Stupid English Department'?

I ask of you, what is the point of having an AP class or a Pre-AP class if it is going to be catered towards people that have no business being in a higher level class. Every year, in an attempt to "better acclimate student" or "instill organizational skill" and "good study habits", classes of a higher caliber at Ye Olde Celina High gravitate more towards zero (that is, as X approaches 0, the IQ required to be in the AP class approaches zero as well)

Get a clue, people. Maybe if you don't have good study skills or are lazy and unorganized you should--oh, I don't know--NOT BE IN AN AP CLASS! I must link to a post from my Miserable friend that accurately describes the current situation which catalyzes these currently harbored feelings

When I came into English 1 as a freshman, we began the year by learning about nouns. Now this is just my opinion, but don't you think a pre-ap class should know what a noun is. Now, Mrs. Kelly is asking questions about grammar, and nobody can answer them because we never got to anything more advanced than PREPOSITIONS.

I wish to go back in time and kill the inventor of the note card. I cannot think of a time when the note card has been a help to me. They are a waste of paper, ink, space, and money. Now that we have to make advanced flash cards with pictures, I'll spend too much time thinking about what reminds me of the word instead of learning the word.

Now that the english classes have been streamlined, (who teaches english one, it better be coach shorty shorts) the lower grades (apparently) are not required to write vocab essays, and analogies are out because they aren't even on the SAT anymore. Nobody can be outstanding anymore because we have to homogenize into stpid grey people in plaid shorts.

I would like to give a shout out to Auburn because she can't comment. I would also like to state that she is the coolest euphonium section leader this side of Mississippi.